I’m Back!

I know I’ve been away for quite some time, but I have a lot of stuff on my plate: I’m working 3^rd shift now, and as a result, I sleep most of the day away. Also, my home computer is on life support. Hubby and I bought it when we first married in 2002 and while it has served us well, it is now obsolete. We don’t have the cash outlay to purchase a new one right now, so we are making do by using our phones and other sources to check/send email and other things until we (hopefully) get a nice tax refund in January. 

The biggest thing by far that has kept me from the oh-so important job of keeping you all entertained is that I’m FINALLY writing my book! I’ve enrolled in a writing class and I’ve been writing my book week by week! This class serves many purposes: I get out of the house once a week, I get to hang out with other adults, and I get a lot of exposure to other budding authors who also get to read and critique my work! Yay, me! 

I do have some updates: 

• I am now a Weight Watchers dropout. In the four months that I was on the program, I lost about 16 pounds. I have gained 10 of those back. I’m still lobbying my doctor to authorize Lap-Band surgery. I need her to say yes by next month so my insurance will cover it. 

 

• Big Phony Toddler is now 19 months old and he goes to the nursery ministry at church! Yay! Now Hubby and I can praise God in church instead of at home on our feeble computer. Also, BPT loves to run away from us as fast as he can and he loves to take things and put them in his playpen. The car keys and my books are his favorite toys now.

 

•  Speaking of BPT, he is still mesmerized by PBS Kids Sprout. I still watch when he’s not at home. Chica tends to calm me down after a rough night at work.

 

• I still love Dennis.

 

• Glee is my favorite new show of the season. (More on that later)

 

• My new “I’m bored” thing to do now is watch You Tube clips on my phone. (Read the next post)

  

I will try not be away for so long next time! Toodles!

If PBS Kids Sprout Is Crack, Then Chica Is Their Dealer

Since regaining regular work hours again, we splurge on digital cable. I love it. There’s about a skrillion movie channels and the On Demand feature which lets me watch stuff that I’ve missed whenever I want. It’s great when there’s nothing else on. My favorite digital cable shows are (in no particular order with the network that it appears on in parentheses):

• Dr. G: Medical Examiner (Discovery Health)
• Degrassi: The Next Generation (The N)
• Air Emergency (National Geographic)
• Seconds From Disaster (National Geographic)
• The Best Years (The N)
• Snapped (Oxygen)
• Black Men Revealed (TV One)
• The Sunny Side Up Show (PBS Kids Sprout)

Now this last show, The Sunny Side Up Show, is a favorite of the ENTIRE house. It comes on in the mornings and while the co-hosts rotate on a weekly basis, its star is an orange-ish chicken named Chica. Chica does not talk. Instead, she sounds like she swallowed a kazoo and responds like that to her co-hosts named Kelly, Sean, and Kevin. I like Sean the best, and so does Big Phony Toddler (more about why his name changed in another post).

Everyday they sing The Sprout Birthday Song and Chica and the co-host sing and dance and read the birthday cards that parents (called Grown-Up Sprouts) send in for their preschool-aged kids (called Sproutlets). They also have a weekly theme. The theme for the entire month is Chica’s Healthy Checklist. Chica goes to the doctor, to the market, and does the Chicasize (an exercise routine that Big Phony Toddler loves) all in an effort to promote healthy habits among the Sproutlets.

Even though Sprout is primarily for preschool kids (think ages 2-4), I’ve come to realize that a lot of babies and toddlers watch this network. And watch with amazing concentration. If you are not careful, you too will become hooked on this cable crack.

It all started when The Big Phony Baby was sick and I needed something, anything to distract him from whining endlessly. Toys, books, and singing were not working, so I decided to try the TV.  I know that there will be some of you reading this who think I should be burned at the stake for allowing my baby to watch TV but you try being at home alone with a sick baby and see what you will do to get a little peace.

I turned to Sprout (SpongeBob was not on Nickelodeon or its sister network Nicktoons Channel) and there was Chica, singing the Birthday song and Big Phony was smiling and laughing and having a good time. When Chica and the cohost went to introduce the next show, Chica went away and I thought that Big Phony would start up again, but he just sat there, transfixed watching whatever it was that was on. He was like that until he fell asleep and I was able to fall asleep too. Once awake, he was looking for Chica, but TSSUS was done for the day and they were onto The Sharing Show and PICME but Big Phony was happy and watching.  And Quiet. Don’t forget QUIET.

You see, TSSUS is a gateway drug. Chica gets you and your child hooked with her cuteness and her kazoo-speak then introduces you to her friends Barney, Mama Mirabelle, that whole Sesame Street gang, Fireman Sam, and don’t even get me started with The Good Night Show. It’s amazing how you will watch Sprout beyond The Sunny Side Up Show and then look up and realize that the whole day is gone and it’s time for The Good Night Show.

The Good Night Show features a lady named Nina, this puppet named Star (who is star-shaped but to me looks like a big pillow; Hubby says Star looks like that pound of fat they show you in health classes) a goldfish named Hush, and a firefly named Lucy. TGNS is less addictive than TSSUS.  Should you have Chica withdrawals during TGNS, she shows up at 6:20 and 7:55pm with The Birthday Show and then you are OK. TGNS has its function because it gets Big Phony to eat his dinner, take a bath, and then eases him into bedtime because Nina and Star always look like they are going to bed really soon.

For weeks I thought I was the only one who watches this network but then I talked to a fellow parent at daycare and she too admitted her addiction to Sprout. Hubby mentioned to one of his guy friends with a child the same age as Big Phony about Sprout and he sheepishly mentioned that he liked Chica. This is soooo funny to me how we really can’t stop watching this network and how we use it to get the kids quiet.

I know what the experts say about TV and kids The Big Phony Toddler’s age but I don’t really care. We read to him, talk to him. It’s not like we plop him down in front of the Idiot Box for hours on end and let him look at endless rapes, murders, and explosions. I watched a lot of TV as a child but I read a lot more books too. I will admit that I really wasn’t all that social but that was more on the part of my parents and the church that we grew up in which didn’t allow us to mix with the heathens of Greenville that weren’t members of the cult-I mean-church. Yeah, church. Right.

I love PBS. Even at 33, I still watch Mystery!, Great Performances, Frontline, Sesame Street, and Between The Lions. PBS introduced me to opera, classical music, and great literature. I got to see and learn things that the piss-poor Greenville Public School District would have never allowed me to see. PBS showed me that there was a world outside of Greenville and that there other ways of seeing things, other ways of thinking. I was probably the only 10 year old who relished The McNeil-Leher Report.  I actually support my local PBS station. I listen to NPR. The only thing I will not watch is that revamped version of The Electric Company. Yuck. The original is still the best. SHAMELESS PLUG ALERT!!!!! I know that the economy totally sucks right now, but if you remember your first time seeing Big Bird, Mister Rogers (RIP Fred), or learning to read via Easy Reader (go ask your parents, or Big Mama, or whoever raised you if you’re under the age of 25) and The Electric Company, then take a few dollars and give to your local PBS station or The Corporation for Public Broadcasting. And if you can’t afford to do that, at least write them a letter of thanks for giving you some wonderful childhood memories. Thank you.

That being said, if I’m allowing my child to watch TV, I will allow him to watch shows that foster learning and fun and friendship. Sprout does all of that and more. 

I gotta go. Chica comes back on at 6:20!

Toodles!

A New Feature: Dear Dennis

If you are a member of a greek organization like I am (a PROUD soror of the BEST sorority in the world: Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Incorporated!!) then you might be aware of greekchat.com.  I’m best known for my stories about the Hand Me Down Cadillac and my fanatical love for Dennis Haysbert. Occasionally in the Open Letter thread I would write letters to Dennis usually dispensing praise and career advice. I’ve decided to continue that tradition here. So here we go:

Dear Dennis,

Last night (or rather this morning) at work, my coworker and I had the immense pleasure of watching you in Absolute Power on TNT. I have this movie (and plenty more starring you or just simply you playing some minor role) at home and I watch it when I start to miss you because The Unit didn’t come on or I didn’t get to see you in an Allstate commercial. There’s a few things I’d like to discuss with you about your role in this Clint Eastwood vehicle:

• OK, the scene where you and Secret Service agent #2 were supposed to shoot Clint Eastwood. I totally understand that the sun got in that other agent’s eyes and he missed but you SHOULD NOT have missed him. I thought you guys were supposed to be really good killers.

 

• Later in the movie, you ram Clint’s daughter off the cliff. She was stupid for not getting out of the car and running but I expect stupidness from her because most damsels in distress are not thinking with a full deck anyway. But why did you try to kill her in BROAD DAYLIGHT in full view of a skrillion people, any of whom could have called the cops! I thought you Secret Service types were about killing people all sneaky and stuff. Running somebody off the cliff in the middle of the day in a big old SUV is not sneaky!

 

• It’s really sad that this is my favorite part of the movie: toward the end when Clint’s daughter is in the hospital, you disguise yourself as a doctor and try to kill her by injecting her with poison. First of all, you were not a very convincing doctor. You have better disguises on The Unit. Secondly, you tried to inject the poison into her wrist! That would have left needle marks! Did you not see the many, many IV’s that she had? You could have simply put the poison in the IV and boom! Dead lady. Your ineptitude allowed Clint to catch you and kill you with the same poison. I did like how you asked him for mercy and he told you that he was fresh out before he jabbed you in the jugular. I use that line quite frequently in my everyday life, particularly when I tell people that I’m fresh out of I Give A Damn.

Dennis, you know I love you and I do not mean to hurt your feelings by pointing out your shortcomings in your roles. I understand that you only had the script you were given to work with and if given a chance, you would have done things differently. In Far From Heaven, I would have jumped on the train to go to Baltimore with you and help you run your flower shop. Julianne Moore was stupid to turn you down.

I’m very sleepy now so I’m winding this letter up. I’m gonna watch this week’s episode of The Unit on Fancast when I wake up. I tried to watch it last night but the TV at work had really crappy reception when it came to CBS. I will talk to you later.

Signed,

Your Biggest Fan Ever

Queenie Goes to Weight Watchers

OK, determined to heed my doctor’s advice, I decided to give Weight Watchers a try. Initially I wanted to try this rapid weight loss program I heard about on the radio where you get vitamin B-12 shots and take a boatload of pills for the low, low price of $199 but the MD shot it down like Dennis Haysbert’s character got shot full of holes in Heat.  

I had my misgivings about WW. First of all, it costs money. It’s $12/wk but if you get the monthly pass (which allows you to use the online tools and go to meetings in person) it costs $39/month. In my honey bun starved mind, I’m thinking that for $40/mo I better lose a lot of weight.

Secondly, I just had this feeling that people are going to be sitting around talking about how threatened they feel by sheet cake at the office or by Girl Scout Cookies that their niece is selling so that she can go to camp this summer. I’m starving for a bag of cool ranch Doritos so I’m thinking: If you don’t want the cake or the cookies, dammit don’t have any! But fat lot of good that’s done for me because now I really need to lose half of my weight.

So I purchase the monthly pass and use the find a meeting function and decide that I’ll go to a meeting to get a feel for WW.

Something about this gives me an odd feeling.

On Thursday, it was raining cats and dogs outside. It took me forever to drive the 5 miles to the meeting spot. Starbucks, a good Dennis movie, and my comfy comfy bed were calling me, telling me I’d be in good hands if I turned around and went home. But visions of my untimely death and Hubby remarried to Angela Bassett and having her raise The Big Phony Baby and The Teenager cause me to press my way down San Jose Boulevard.

I finally get there and that odd feeling I mentioned previously? Yeah, about that. Turns out that the WW meeting place is in a strip mall surrounded by the following:

• a steakhouse
• a sub sandwich shop
• a chocolatier
• a bistro that serves really good coffee and pastries
• a sushi bar

I put my head down on the steering wheel and briefly wonder why am I being punished this way. I suck it up and get out of the car and go in.

When you come to WW you get weighed in. My weight: 258. Somehow between my doctor telling me to change my eating habits and missing the Jumbo Hostess Honey Bun, I’ve lost 2 pounds! So that’s 2 pounds down and 128 to go. Feeling happy with myself and proud that I ignored Dennis’ voice seductively asking me to spend time with him watching Far From Heaven, I sit down.

The happiness was short lived. Within 5 minutes of getting weighed in and taking my seat in the meeting, I am surrounded by skinny people. I immediately text message my best bud Ernest:

Im at the mtg. Theres a bunch of skinny heffas here. One of them betta strt talkng bout how they used to be 300 pounds and ww helped them else im out!

To which he texts back:

Plz give them a chance.  N didnt u pay for the month already?

He’s right and Far From Heaven comes on again later in the day, so I decide to sit and see what they have to say.

Which in my opinion, is not much. This one lady pretty much takes over the meeting yakking about what healthy crap you can buy at Publix across the street. The group leader is a man with a British accent. He talks about journaling what you eat, down to the last bite, lick, and taste. I admit that I do have that bad habit of sampling the food while I’m cooking and then eating once it’s done. Against my better judgment I volunteer to journal my food intake for the week but Old Chap decides that I could do it next week since I’m new and gives the journal to Pushy Publix Lady.

The meeting ends and all the skinny people leave and Old Chap wants to see the newbies. Guess what? There’s some Fat People! Me and like 3 other ladies and a man who is not really fat at all. Old Chap tells us his WW story and shows us a before picture when he weighed 300 pounds. He looked like Grissom from CSI. Now he weighs just under 200 and now he works for WW leading groups and running the office.

I feel a little bit better. After orientation I purchase measuring spoons, a food scale, and the new issue of Weight Watchers Monthly. I consider it an investment.

Then I go to Publix and buy some of those healthy things that Pushy Publix Lady raved about in the meeting. It actually tastes good.

Toodles!

Queen-Sized Kamesa

OK, I have to admit that I haven’t been the best about being healthy. I eat junky things. I looove honey buns, Doritos, and ice cream. I really don’t exercise. I hate non-sex related sweating and I don’t have the time, patience, or money to keep running to the beauty salon when I do sweat. Of course walking around the complex is free but do I really want to spend my walking time dodging dog poop bombs or sidestepping trash left by my trifling neighbors when I could be enjoying my broke-pod?

On a recent visit to the doctor for a physical, she kindly informs me that I am obese and hypertensive. I am 5’1″ and 260 pounds. My blood pressure is horrible. She puts me on medication and proceeds to tell me that I must join Weight Watchers and exercise.

Weight Watchers? Exercise? I have heard of these things but didn’t think they were real.  “But I want Lap-Band surgery!” I whine.

“No,” says my MD. “Join Weight Watchers, take your meds,  exercise and MAYBE we’ll see about Lap-Band for you in a year.” She kinda consoles me by telling me that I don’t really look like I weigh 260.

That much is true because I really don’t look like a fatty.

I mean, fat is not oozing out of every orifice in my body. I carry most of my fat in my belly (where the Big Phony Baby and the Teenager once resided) and even then it does not look that bad. I guess it’s because I don’t try to wear form-fitting clothes and regularly employ the use of a girdle when the need arises.

Also, in the African-American community, I’m not really considered obese or even fat. I’m thick. I’m phat. On a good day when my hair’s done and I’m looking cute, I get propositioned by black and white men. Know what’s weird? When I used to weigh 1/2 of my current weight back in high school, I couldn’t buy attention from guys. Maybe it was the Urkel glasses and the holy roller parents. Hmm.   But I digress.

Another thing that really bothers me is how these celebs of other persuasions stress about their weight soooo much. Let’s take Jessica Simpson. Recently she was caught wearing mom jeans.  To me, wearing mom jeans is bad when you are NOT a mom! But to everyone else she might as well be shopping at Ashley Stewart!  I could care less that she’s a little plumper than usual. Apparently she cared because the next time we saw her she was skinny. I mean, if you like to eat, EAT dammit! Isn’t Jessica from Texas, where like everyone eats everything slathered in barbecue sauce or fried within an inch of its life?

But the ugly truth still remains: I am obese. I have high blood pressure. And if I’m not careful and make changes now, I could develop diabetes or worse.

Obesity is a big (no pun intended) problem in the US. Coincidentally, the diet industry is a big money maker in this country. There’s pretty much a diet for everyone: Slim-Fast, Slimquick, Atkins, South Beach, Hydroxycut, the one where you drink smoothies, the other one where you eat cookies, Subway, and the list goes on and on. So with all of these diets, why are we still a country of fat asses?

We’re lazy. Healthy weight loss requires patience, exercise, and eating less food. The reason why diet makers make so much cash is that we’d rather spend googobs of money to drop 100 pounds for our class reunion in 2 months by drinking a concoction of water, cayenne pepper sauce, and lemon juice  rather than make small changes and lose maybe 20 pounds in that same amount of time.

We’re cheap. We all know that the economy is in the toilet right now. But who hasn’t laid off people yet besides Wal-Mart? McDonald’s! Their business is better than ever! Why? $1 double cheeseburgers! Hell, their whole dollar deal menu is their best seller! It appears cheaper to buy junky things than more healthful ones. Case in point: our recent grocery trip. We bought lots of fruits, veggies, and whole grain items. Our bill was over $200. Had we purchased our usual high fat, high sodium fare the bill would have been about $80-$90.

Fat is more acceptable in society now. Well not quite but we’re getting there. If you are plus sized there are whole stores for us now like Avenue (my fav!), Ashley Stewart, Catherine’s, and Lane Bryant. They don’t sell tents at those places!  I don’t know any big men’s stores but I’ll have to ask my Simpsons buddy Charlie or my brother-in-law Brian who are both good looking big guys where the big gentlemen shop.

Our portions are out of control. There’s the Big Gulp which is practically a gallon of soda. Honey buns are as big as tires now, and so are bagels and muffins. Don’t get me started about burgers and fries. Until a few days ago, I didn’t know that a cup of food was so much!

Even with all of those things, the ugly truth still remains: I am obese. I have high blood pressure. And if I’m not careful and make changes now, I could develop diabetes or worse.

Which means it’s time for me to take my fat butt down to Weight Watchers.

Going to the Movies Suck!

A few nights ago, I went out to the movies. I haven’t been to the movies in over a year. This is in part due to the economy (we don’t have the extra money for movies like we used to), the Big Phony Baby (do you really have to ask?), and ticket prices (which are really inflated now thanks to ta-da! The Economy!)

Hubby got to enjoy guy time by going to the Gator Bowl with some friends from our church, so I chose to go to the movies for Mesa-time. I went to see Seven Pounds. I really wanted to see Doubt, but Hubby got back too late from the game in time for me to catch an early enough screening so here I am.

The first thing that made me mad was the ticket price: $10. That was just me. No kids. No Hubby. Just me by myself.  $10. What the hell? I had $25 dollars in my pocket and I was figuring about $7 for a ticket and maybe $10 for a large popcorn and drink. Wrong!  

 The refreshments was the second thing that made me mad. A large popcorn and a large drink is now about $20.  AfterI paid for my ticket, I  went to the nearest gas station and loaded up my cute red purse with chips, Twizzlers, and a honey bun.  I couldn’t fit any drinks from the gas station in my purse so I shelled out $6 for a large Coke.

So I found my seat and the movie started. Stupid people talking in the row behind me was the third thing that made me mad. OK, I don’t know about you, but I can’t really afford to go to the movies like I want to. I have a baby at home, so even if I have the money to go to the movies, I can’t afford a sitter, lest you all want an earful of my baby crying  his head off.  So on the rare occasion that I am able to go to the movies, I damn sure want to enjoy myself  and that does not entail me listening to you talk about complete and absolute utter nonsense to the people you came with or even worse, on your stupid cell phone! After I gave my trademark Looky Here Glare, the kids behind me immediately shut the hell up and I was able to enjoy Seven Pounds in peace.

Overall the movie was not what I expected it to be. It was good. Golden Globe nomination good, but not Oscar nomination great. Did Will Smith get a Golden Globe nom for this role? I don’t know.

Overall, I spent $16 if you count the ticket and the large Coke. $20 if you throw in the gas station goodies. So with ticket prices at $10, the next movie I plan on seeing will have Dennis Haysbert in it. For him and him alone I will gladly spend $10. That, or someone else will be footing the bill.

Which includes my large popcorn and Coke.

Hey! Come check me out on Facebook! Put Kamesa Carter in the search Facebook box and feel free to: peep my pics, scrawl on my wall, or be my friend!

Toodles!

The Excellent Adventure Called 2008!

Happy 2009, people! I FINALLY have Internet back at my house and What’s SHE Thnking is BACK! Yay!

2008 was really great! As I looked back on the year that was, I couldn’t help but to notice all of the finallys that happened:

We as country FINALLY elected a Black man for President! (January 20th is Obamatime!) Check out this really cool pic of our new First Lady when she visited Jacksonville: 

Our New First Lady Michelle Obama!

There’s a really cool story behind this picture. My 13 year old son David and I stood in line for at least 6 hours to get into the Prime Osborne Convention Center for the Michelle Obama rally. Once inside, we were way in the back. Like 15,000 people in front of us. And we still had to stand for another 2 hours before the rally started.   Campaign volunteers were like pit bulls when it came to protecting entrance to the disabled section (which was very close to the front) and the media section (which was right at the front of the stage). The only thing closer was the stage itself and you had to be vetted by the Secret Service/FBI in advance in order to be there so that was out for us. So I told my son to get lost, literally. While he was “wandering” around the crowd, I pretended to look for him and we met at the front of the crowd right when Michelle took the stage. We got our picture, listened to her speech and we left!

I FINALLY had another baby! John William Carter IV was born on March 4, 2008. We also call him John-John but he’s best known as  The Big Phony Baby! Here he is at 10 months old:

Mommy, the Jags had a REALLY bad season! 5-11!

Also, some not so excellent things happened in 2008:

The ecomomy tanked; lots of people lost jobs, homes, and financial security. Wall Street got a bailout courtesy of us. I’m still waiting for my money.

After surviving (at best) a 5 story jump from a brownstone in Baltimore, Omar got killed by a gun-totin’ 6 year old on The Wire. Then the series ended.

We lost Bernie Mac and Issac Hayes. I haven’t watched South Park in quite a while, but I admit that I still tear up when I channel surf and The Bernie Mac Show is on.

Is it just me or did Nip/Tuck jump the shark?

Although I am quite happy that Vic Mackey got his just desserts on The Shield, is anybody else irritated that Shane Vendrell ate his gun before he could be arrested for killing Lemonhead at the end of season 5?

Sarah Palin.

$4 gas.

The homicide rate in Jacksonville.

Hurricane/tropical storm/hurricane/tropical storm Fay, followed by actually driving to work in and being at work during Hurricane/tropical storm/hurricane/tropical storm Fay.

That’s pretty much my take on the year that was 2008! Toodles!

Hope Won!

So Election Day has come and gone (Thank Goodness!!) and America has a brand new President of the United States: Barack Obama!! Yay!! FYI: I voted for him and I voted early!!!!

The announcement came a wee bit after 11:00 pm. I was asleep, (I spent the day working as an election inspector for Duval County and had been up since 4am) tired from watching endless election night prattle from the talking heads of CNN, CBS, NBC, and ABC when my buddy Ernest woke me up with a text message that read YES WE DID!!!!! I immediately woke up and turned on the TV and learned that history had indeed been made. A Black man would be the next President of the United States of America.

I was stunned. I really, really was. I never thought that I would live to see the day where America would elect an African-American as Leader of the Free World. Before Obama’s improbable run for the White House, I resigned myself to the fact that the closest thing to a Black President that I would see in my lifetime would be watching Dennis Haysbert on “24″ or Chris Rock in Head of State.

I began to cry and laugh all at the same time. I was amazed that I at age 33 was witnessing this. A Black President! This means that I could no longer give that condescending smile to little children who said that they wanted to grow up to be President.  This means that I would be telling the truth to my sons when I say that they could be anything they wanted to be in this life. There were NO. MORE. LIMITATIONS!!!!!!! When that realization hit me, I began to sob in earnest.  I thanked God right then and there for allowing me to witness such history being made.

Then I wished I had TV One. Ernest told me that Tom Joyner and his morning show crew really turned it out with their coverage. Then after watching every news outlet on TV (except Fox News who really didn’t want to concede that a Black man had actually won the White House) I went to sleep at 4 am, happy that change had come and that hope won. 

Author’s Note:This is really short today people, but watch for Kamesa’s Excellent Election Adventure coming soon right along with my Ode to Dennis. Toodles!

Seduced By Seafood

Author’s Note: Due to the really sucky economy, I am between Internet providers (read: Hubby and I are broke and we can’t pay Comcast right now, so they cut off our Internet) and am currently using the taxpayer supported public library’s Internet services.  It really bites because I have to keep running back to the log in station every 30 minutes and then moving to another computer to stay online. For you dear readers, this means that my very anticpated post about the TV Love of My Life Dennis Haysbert will have to be on hold for now. But, feel free to enjoy this post and my many other entertaining tidbits of my life!

Yesterday, the family and I went out to Golden Corral to eat dinner. We saw the latest commercials advertising their seafood buffet and decided that we could use a meal that wasn’t spaghetti, ramen noodles, mac n cheese, or pinto beans and cornbread. I didn’t have to work (my schedule finally being determined for now to be Friday and maybe Saturday every week) so we went after church.

I love Golden Corral, Ryan’s, Fire Mountain, Old Country Buffet and what have you in buffet restaurants, because you get to eat all you want for one price. Yummy! Of course it was crowded but there were a couple of  things that made the promise of a seafood dinner feel like a Sunday morning Walk of Shame after a drunken Saturday night hookup:

1. The Prices: GC now charges $9.99 on Sundays. It used to be at least $6.99 drink included!  (Thanks a lot Bush!) Then they have the colossal nerve to charge my 13 year old son as an adult and charged us separately for our drinks! Yesterday’s meal cost me about a tank of gas which is $40.

2. The service: It used to be that when once you paid your money at GC you would sit down and wait for a server to bring you your plates and a basket of hot rolls and honey butter. Not! I had to get up, get our plates and silverware, and get our rolls and butter! If I wanted to get up and get plates and rolls, I would have stayed home and cooked the damn food myself!

Also, I had to hunt down a waitress to find a high chair for The Big Phony Baby. He has this annoying habit now of looking right into our mouths-especially mine- when we are eating. And don’t let it be past his meal time–he will scream bloody murder if you’re eating and he’s not. So my Maryland crab cakes got cold while I fed the baby some mixed veggies and made him hold his bottle to drink afterwards.

Here’s what made me mad about that: a good waitress would have noticed that we came in with a baby and asked us right then if we needed a high chair. I used to be a waitress long, long ago when I was a struggling single mother and quickly learned that little things equaled big tips. I feel like I should not have to hunt someone down to get something like that.

And while I am on the subject of restaurant high chairs, GC’s was shoddy. Who heard of a high chair without a tray? I had to strap the baby in and pull him up to the table which didn’t work at all because the table was kinda higher than the chair. I had to pull the baby around to me and feed him there. It was messier than it needed to be.

Other than that, everything was OK. The seafood was good and I ate lots of it because until I find steadier work, jaunts to GC will be few and far in between.

Toodles!

My Baby is a Big Phony

The Big Phony

 

This is my youngest son John William Carter IV. He is a Big Phony. He cries like somebody’s hurting him and the second-I mean the very second-I come into view he dries up like he never shed a tear.

He’s 7 months old now and he’s amazing to watch. He rolls over, eats cereal, fruit, and veggies. (We’re moving him to meats soon) He babbles, plays with toys, and watches TV like he really knows what’s going on. He loves his stuffed toys and his rattles, loves to travel, loves attention (but not too much at one time), and loves playing with remote controls and digging through my purse. He’s also a Big Drool Machine. He’s teething. My husband I check his mouth everyday looking for the first two teeth to finally break through.

You might think we’re crazy, but we think that he might have said his first word. He said “hi” last week. Twice. But that’s what we thought we heard.

Also, I don’t know if it’s Acquired Baby Skills or not, but John-John will do stuff that gets on our nerves (not going to sleep, not sleeping all night, refusing food, crying like it’s the End of the World, etc) but then he will smile like he wants us to forget that we’re annoyed with him. And we usually do. Then we have his Big Brother David watch him while we get some sleep.

Toodles!!

Next week, it’s the post that my husband is not happy about me writing: Why I *Heart* Dennis Haysbert. I know it’s been a long time coming, but I have to make sure that my ode to my TV Boyfriend is on point!